Oh boy

A student walked into my office today, and I had a hunch he was going to provide some golden material. Clutching a roller bag and Amp Energy drink, he wasn't unlike most other students but he just had that look in his eye. :

Student: Yes, I had some questions regarding what I can spend my financial aid on.

Me: Okay.

Student: (Silence for about 20 seconds)

Me: Go ahead.

Student: Yes...Am I allowed to buy people lunch?

Me: Well, funds are generally used for school related costs, but I doubt the Dept. Of Education would have an issue with you buying lunch.

Student: Ok, because sometimes I go to lunch with my brother, and he doesn't have money so I buy him lunch.

Me: Like I said, they won't make a stink about you buying him lunch.

Student: Ok, well sometimes I buy books.

Me: Text books are okay.

Student: Well these books are just for fun.

Me: Thats okay too, as long as you are being responsible with it they won't come after you.

Student: So I can't buy pot with it?

Me: ...

Ok now imagine that entire conversation, with the guy sounding like Red Shirt Guy from that WOW video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwyMB19q7ms).