Friday, May 27, 2011

I don't wanna work....

I just wanna bang on the drum all day!

Its Friday kids, so that means names and today's list has a little twist to it. 10 names as usual but your job will be to determine which names were guys and which one were girls. I'll post a link to the answers below.

Bryton
Chaim
Chancellor
Eischelle
Jodeci
Tremon
Waltermae
Weedor
Whisha
Markiet


Answer Key

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Marzo, Mayo, Abril, Junio,

Whenever a student like this comes into my office, I always think of one particular Calvin and Hobbes comic: 


I know that everyone has bad days, and sometimes we do boneheaded things. But then there are some people where you have to question how they manage to get around.


Student: (Browsing over the poster explaining when applications are due) So I've still got a couple weeks before Fall priority?

Me: The application was actually due in April.

Student: Yeah, April 1st. So I've still got a few weeks.

Me: No, it was due over a month ago.

Student: But this says April 1st.

Me: Yes, and its May 16th. 

Student: uhhhh

Me: It goes April, then May.

Student: Of course it does.

Me: ....

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Whats in a Name...

Ok, so normally I have a whole list of names to present but this week I just have one.

Heroin.


Yes I am being serious. No its not a joke. And the feminine word for hero is spelled Heroine.

This poor kid has been named after one drug so nasty that the funniest thing you can find with a google image search is Amy Winehouse.

Maybe I should give the kid's parents the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps they wanted their son connected to some of the entertainment worlds most famous names. The likes of Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Bradley Nowell, River Phoenix, Sid Vicious, and Mitch Hedberg. Maybe she didn't understand what  "found in a pool of his own vomit" really meant. Maybe she missed the part of the story about Kurt Cobain thought a better option to a heroin overdose was a mouthful of shotgun.

Not sure how I am going to top this one.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Malapropisms & Misapplications

Not every person who walks into my office leaves me with a great story. Most interactions go smoothly, with no incident. Somewhere in the middle though, are my favorite people. They are the unpaid experts, who want me to know, that they know, exactly what they are talking about. They like to lower my guard by talking endlessly, and just when I am too the point of tears, they sneak it in. Here are just a few examples in what should be an ongoing series. From the students auditory cavity, to my phalangical tips, to your optical balls...

"The class was not the correct angle for my degree."

"I need to take an intravenous class this summer."

"I am still talking with my teacher to see if I can savage the class."

"I am taking summer courses, and I wanted to know if my FAFSA application will survive that?"

"I just wanted to know if luck would be shot if I fail my final?"