What's in a Name Vol 4.

Lashavia

Lovella

Laanndrewlyn

Montray

Dawnyale

Organia

Nallely

Twayler

Sharunda

Amberle 

1! (Ah ha ha) 2!(Ah ha ha) 3! (Ah ha ha)....

At my school, we have an course that all new students must take that is essentially College Life 101. It introduces them to the registration process, what the campuses offer, where they can go for different services etc. I believe it needs to be expanded to cover the basics to make sure that everyone is up to speed. And I do mean the absolute basics because clearly some students are not where they need to be...

Student: It is asking what grade level I am.

Me: Have you attended this college before?

S: Just here for about a year.

M: Okay well then you would need to select 2nd year sophmore

S: This one?

WHAT is the capital of Assyria?

(Before I get to today's post, I would like to start by reiterating that my office deals solely with those seeking higher education. We provide financial aid for people taking COLLEGE courses towards their COLLEGE degree.)

On the FAFSA application, their is a new section that asks students to confirm their high schools location by answering me these questions three filling in three boxes that ask the name, city and state where their high school was located. There are toddlers out there who haven't grasped the concept of "poopy in the potty" that could name the city and state they were in. And yet, the following occurred today...

Student: Is New London, Connecticut like in Connecticut?

Me: I'm sorry ma'am I can't hear you, you'll have to speak up.

S: Is New London, Connecticut like in Connecticut or would it be somewhere else like New Hampshire?

M: Well, I've never heard of New London, so I am not sure what state it is in. Connecticut is a state though, so that might be what you are looking for.

S: Ok well I put Texas, is that okay?

M: ...

Normally this is where someone would tell you to brace yourself for this the future of our country. But sleep soundly America, chances are that they'll never figure out where you are anyway.

Pudding Pops

A few days ago, an older women came into my office and I had the following conversation with her:

Student: Oh, hi* yes. I have the email and I got one for school and one another*.

Me: (Eye's widen)

Student: I tried to get one but couldn't get into it for my teacher*.

Me:(open new window to pull up my blog) Do you have a financial aid question?

Student: Well no see, because I lost the email for school*, I don't know how to get in contact with my teachers. So I can't find out.

Me: Ok, do you have a question pertaining to Financial Aid?

Student: Well no but, I need to know about my* grades and I don't have the email (.

Me: Well I can only answer financial aid questions. If you have an issue with access to your email, you will need to contact tech support.

Student: So you can't do* email here?

Me: Well, we do have computers and they can access email but I am still not sure what you are trying to accomplish. But if you are having trouble with your email, call tech support

Student: Okay then*. Good day

Me: ...

Now to the untrained eye this may seem just like a slightly confusing conversation with a sweet old lady whose grasp on technology was only bested by her grasp of English.  You might be saying to yourself, what is with all of those *'s? Imagine to yourself that each of those stars were 15-30 second ramblings that fall somewhere between the Cosby Meme and Suel Forrester, Southern Lawyer. It was one of those times were you expect Ashton Kutcher to burst through the wall telling me I got punk'd. Both confirming that a lady so insane couldn't possibly exist and my status as an A list celebrity worthy of appearing on his crappy show. Yet, here I sit at my computer just a lowly Financial Aid Officer with nothing but my crazy lad friend. She's a gem though and because nothing was resolved, I can only sit and wait on our next convershiddity abot the fincishery adibay

What's in a name? Vol 3

Another week, another set of names and another appearance from the double apostrophe. Enjoy.

Shae'quaya

Johnjacob

Princess

L"ronica

Nozomi

Deongella

Tonge

Mistashia

Unima

Lametrice

Literally?

A student was in my office today, filling out the FAFSA application when she came to this question:

"Do you have driver's license information that you want to provide? Yes or No"

Pretty straight forward, right? Not really a question that should cause confusion. Thats what you think:

Student: Do they literally want us to put in our driver license information?

Me: What does the question say?

S: "Do you have driver's license information that you want to provide?" But I don't have drivers license.

M: Okay well then you would not have license information to provide. You can answer "No."

S: OOOHHHH okay.

M: ...